The Pork‑Chop Express Guide to Gymnastics Rings: Everything Bobby & Dr. Joey Forgot to Mention

Well what the hell—Jack Burton here, coming in hot on the CB waves to make sure you, my road‑weary friend, get the full scoop on wooden gymnastics rings for home workouts, portable suspension‑trainer alternatives, and every body‑weight dip progression for shoulder pain relief under the sun. Bobby Behemoth—king of the backyard hill sprints—and Dr. Joey Leviathan already laid the groundwork in the show, but old Jack’s gonna pour on the octane, six‑demon bag style.

Listen to the full episode on Spotify here if you haven’t yet, then buckle up for the ultimate long‑form guide to gymnastics ring training for non‑gymnasts, beginners, travelers, and rusty‑jointed desk jockeys.

Why Gymnastics Rings Rule the Road (& Your Garage Gym)

• Ridiculously high strength‑to‑price ratio – entry‑level wood kit ≈ $30 USD, supports 600–1000 lb.
• Zero footprint – unhook, toss in a drawer. Perfect for micro apartments and over‑packed minivans.
• Infinite scalability – tilt the torso, shorten the straps, add a dip‑belt; instant progression/regression.
• Joint‑friendly rotation – rings spin into your natural groove, saving cranky elbows and achy shoulders.
• Carry‑on travel workout system – pair with a $5 door‑anchor or a sturdy tree limb and you’re good to roll.

Wood vs Plastic vs Metal Rings — The Showdown

Wooden Gymnastics Rings (Birch or Maple)

Keywords: best wooden gymnastics rings for CrossFit, smooth grip chalk‑friendly rings

• Warm, non‑slip texture—sticks to chalk, glove‑free even with sweaty paws.
• Lightweight yet bomber; won’t freeze fingers in winter garage gyms.
• Ideal for muscle‑ups, false‑grip pull‑ups, and high‑volume dip workouts.
• Cons: sun & rain can warp—keep ’em indoors or oil annually.

Textured Plastic Rings (ABS/HDPE)

Keywords: outdoor weatherproof gymnastics rings, budget plastic exercise rings

• Laughs at rainstorms—great for backyard rigs or playground setups.
• Usually cheapest; decent starter option for kids or group classes.
• Can feel slick without tape; degrades under UV after a few seasons.

Metal Rings (Steel or Aluminum)

Keywords: heavy‑duty metal calisthenics rings, competition‑grade steel rings

• Indestructible, fire‑resistant—seriously, Mad Max equipment.
• Excellent for cross‑training with kettlebells or weighted vests.
• Downside: cold, gnarly on bare hands, heavier in a suitcase.

Straps, Buckles & Mounting 101

Keywords: how to mount gymnastics rings to ceiling joist, door anchor ring setup for hotel room

• Cam‑buckle straps (standard) – 1.5‑inch polyester, 13+ ft; fast, secure, cheap to replace.
• Daisy‑chain climbing slings – lightweight camping option, perfect for tree branches.
• Door‑anchor pad – $10 accessory → instant hotel gym; hinge the door away from you & lock dead‑bolt.
• Ceiling joist eye‑bolts – lag‑screw two 3/8″ stainless eye‑bolts 18‑24″ apart for best swing clearance.
• Pull‑up bar throw‑over – easiest; just drape straps over a power‑rack bar or playground monkey bar.

Gymnastics Rings vs TRX® Suspension Trainer

Look, TRX is a sharp tool—Jack’s used it on many a layover—but rings deliver full circle rotation and vertical dip capability a strap‑handle system simply can’t match. Quick bullets:

• Rotation Freedom: 360° vs TRX’s 180°—vital for shoulder‑happy pull‑ups.
• Dips & Muscle‑Ups: doable (and loadable) only on rings.
• Price Point: $30 wood rings < $200 premium TRX kit.
• Durability: wood/metal rings last decades; TRX webbing frays faster under sunshine & chalk.

Essential Joint‑Friendly Ring Exercises

1. Ring Rows — Scapular Health MVP

Adjust foot position to hit beginner body‑weight back workout through advanced archer rows.

2. Pull‑Ups (Neutral, Supinated, False‑Grip)

The free‑spinning handles track natural elbow paths—elbow‑tendonitis pull‑up solution.

3. Dips & Ring Push‑Ups

Unparalleled chest/tri stimulus and shoulder‑saving rotation. See Bobby’s demo video below.

4. Core Killers: L‑Sit, Tuck‑Ups & Roll‑Outs

Add anti‑extension work without stressing low backs.

5. Lower‑Body Assistance

• Pistol‑Squat Support – hold rings lightly, sink deep, drive up for bulletproof knees.
• Hamstring Curls – heels on bench, shoulders on floor, rings overhead.
• Bulgarian Split Squat Balance – touch rings for micro‑stability, overload quads safely.

Pull‑Up & Dip Progressions for Mortals

Pull‑Ups

1. Dead‑Hang & Scap Pulls – 3×30‑sec holds until grip feels rock‑solid.
2. Eccentric Lowers – 5×5‑sec negatives; step up, lower sloooow.
3. Band or Foot‑Assisted Reps – knock out 3×6 perfect reps, ditch assistance every week.
4. EMOM Singles – one clean rep every minute for 10 minutes; add reps over time.
5. Weighted Pull‑Ups – use a rigging sling dip‑belt once you own 10 body‑weight reps.

Dips

1. Support Holds – elbows locked, rings close; aim for 3×20‑sec.
2. Slow Negatives – step off a box, 5‑sec descent.
3. Partial ROM + Box Assist – feet on box, build 3×8.
4. Full Ring Dips – grease the groove EMOM style like Bobby preaches.
5. Weighted Dips – chain up a kettlebell once 3×10 body‑weight is comfortable.

Sample Ring Workout Templates

Beginner 3‑Day Split (Full‑Body, 30 min)

Day 1 – Strength
 • Ring Rows 4×8
 • Assisted Ring Dips 4×6
 • Ring Ham Curl 3×10
Day 2 – Mobility / Core
 • Dead‑Hang 3×30 s
 • Ring Tuck‑Ups 4×10
 • Pistol‑Squat Support 3×6 /leg
Day 3 – Conditioning
 • 10‑min EMOM: 1 Pull‑Up + 2 Push‑Ups + 3 Air Squats
  

Hotel‑Room Quickie (20 min, Door Anchor)

EMOM 20
  Odd minutes – 10 Suspended Push‑Ups
  Even minutes – 12 Ring Rows (feet forward)
  

Care, Chalk & Safety

• Inspect straps/buckles monthly—retire any frayed webbing.
• Lightly sand & mineral‑oil wood rings each spring for that smooth‑as‑butter grip.
• Keep chalk use moderate indoors; vacuum strap connection points to avoid grit wear.
• Always stand clear before loading heavy weight plates on a dip‑belt—gravity is undefeated.

Quick FAQ

“Can I build muscle with just rings?” You bet your kumquat—you can milk hypertrophy for years with strategic tempo, volume, and progressive loading.

“Are rings safe for seniors with shoulder arthritis?” The free rotation often reduces impingement, but start with rows & supported push‑ups. Clear any new program with your doc first.

“How high should I mount my rings?” Hang them so the bottoms sit around hip height for rows; ceiling height (plus strap slack) for pull‑ups/dips.

Final Thoughts from the Pork‑Chop Express

Remember what ol’ Jack Burton always says: “It’s all in the reflexes.” Set up a pair of trusty wooden rings, groove those reflexes through rows, dips, and pull‑ups, and you’ll turn your living room, garage, hotel balcony—or hell, the back of the Pork‑Chop Express—into a world‑class strength dojo. See you on the airwaves, and if we’re still not back by dawn… call the gym owner and tell ’em to order more chalk.

— Jack Burton, Bobby Behemoth & Dr. Joey Leviathan, signing off.